7 Ways to Show a Grieving Loved One You Care
Losing someone close to you can be the most difficult ordeal you’ll ever have to face. My mother has been gone for five years now, and there are still times when the grief feels fresh and new. After my experience, however, I thought I’d always know what to say to someone who’s going through that kind of loss, but I was surprised to find out that it’s still hard. When someone you love is suffering, that helpless feeling can be overwhelming.
No matter how much you want to, you can’t bring back their loved one, so you can’t fix the problem. But you can make them feel like they’re not facing this alone.
Table of Contents
Ways to Show a Grieving Loved One You Care
1. Listen
This may seem like a no-brainer, but it can be more difficult than you think. Your instinct will be to jump in and try to direct the conversation in a positive direction. But it’s likely your friend has no interest in hearing that their loved one is in a better place, that they shouldn’t feel so sad, that everything happens for a reason or any of the other platitudes that might come to mind.
Also, now is not the time to jump in with your stories of grief. In trying to relate to your friend, you may feel inclined to share. Often this is seen as one-upmanship or making it all about you. The best you can say if it seems appropriate is something like, “I know what you mean. I felt like that when my mom died,” and then quickly steer the conversation back to your friend. A quick validation of your friend’s feelings can be helpful–just be very, very careful.
Read: Tips for Depression
2. Give them time to grieve
There is no time limit on grief. Don’t make them feel like they’ve run out the clock on
your sympathy. Let them talk all they want about the person they miss or how they feel.
3. Give them your time
Give them the gift of your time, and not just right after the loss of their loved one. Over the next year, at least, check in on them. A lot of people feel an initial surge of support when
